Rhetoric & Technical Communication
Rhetoric & Technical Communication
Toscano, Aaron, Ph.D., Associate Professor, Dept. of English

Resources and Daily Activities

  • Dr. Toscano’s Homepage
  • ENGL 2116-083: Introduction to Technical Communication
    • ENGL 2116 sec. 083 Major Assignments (Summer 2020)
      • Final Portfolio Requirements
      • Oral Presentations
    • June 11th: Continue with I, Robot
    • June 15th: Ethics and Perspective Discussion
      • Ethical Dilemmas for Homework
      • Ethical Dilemmas to Ponder
      • Mapping Our Personal Ethics
    • June 16th: More on Ethics
    • June 1st: Effective Documents for Users
    • June 2nd: Final Project and Research Discussion
      • Epistemology and Other Fun Research Ideas
      • Making Résumés and Cover Letters Better
      • Research
    • June 3rd: Technology in a Social Context
    • June 8th: Information Design and Visuals
    • June 9th: Proposals, Marketing, and Rhetoric
    • May 18th: Introduction to the course
    • May 19th: Critical Technological Awareness
    • May 20th: Audience, Purpose, and General Introduction
    • May 21st: Résumé Stuff
      • Making Résumés and Cover Letters More Effective
      • Peter Profit’s Cover Letter
    • May 25th: More Resume Stuff
    • May 26th: Plain Language and Prose Revision
      • Euphemisms
      • Prose Practice for Next Class
      • Prose Revision Assignment
      • Revising Prose: Efficiency, Accuracy, and Good
      • Sentence Clarity
    • May 27th: More on Plain Language
    • May 28th: Review Prose Revision
  • ENGL 4182/5182: Information Design & Digital Publishing
    • August 21st: Introduction to the Course
      • Rhetorical Principles of Information Design
    • August 28th: Introduction to Information Design
      • Prejudice and Rhetoric
      • Robin Williams’s Principles of Design
    • Classmates Webpages (Fall 2017)
    • December 4th: Presentations
    • Major Assignments for ENGL 4182/5182 (Fall 2017)
    • November 13th: More on Color
      • Designing with Color
      • Important Images
    • November 20th: Extra-Textual Elements
    • November 27th: Presentation/Portfolio Workshop
    • November 6th: In Living Color
    • October 16th: Type Fever
      • Typography
    • October 23rd: More on Type
    • October 2nd: MIDTERM FUN!!!
    • October 30th: Working with Graphics
      • Beerknurd Calendar 2018
    • September 11th: Talking about Design without Using “Thingy”
      • Theory, theory, practice
    • September 18th: The Whole Document
    • September 25th: Page Design
  • ENGL 4183/5183: Editing with Digital Technologies
    • Efficiency in Writing Reviews
    • February 3rd: I’m in Love with the Shape of You(r Sentences)
    • January 20th: Introduction to the Course
    • January 27th: Rhetoric, Words, and Composing
    • Major Assignments for ENGL 4183/5183 (Spring 2021)
  • ENGL 4275: Rhetoric of Technology
    • April 13th: Authorities in Science and Technology
    • April 15th: Articles on Violence in Video Games
    • April 20th: Presentations
    • April 6th: Technology in the home
    • April 8th: Writing Discussion
    • Assignments for ENGL 4275
    • February 10th: Religion of Technology Part 3 of 3
    • February 12th: Is Love a Technology?
    • February 17th: Technology and Gender
    • February 19th: Technology and Expediency
    • February 24th: Semester Review
    • February 3rd: Religion of Technology Part 1 of 3
    • February 5th: Religion of Technology Part 2 of 3
    • January 13th: Technology and Meaning, a Humanist perspective
    • January 15th: Technology and Democracy
    • January 22nd: The Politics of Technology
    • January 27th: Discussion on Writing as Thinking
    • January 29th: Technology and Postmodernism
    • January 8th: Introduction to the Course
    • March 11th: Writing and Other Fun
    • March 16th: Neuromancer (1984) Day 1 of 2
    • March 18th: Neuromancer (1984) Day 2 of 2
    • March 23rd: Inception (2010)
    • March 25th: Writing and Reflecting Discussion
    • March 30th & April 1st: Count Zero
    • March 9th: William Gibson’s Neuromancer (1984)
  • ENGL 4750-090 & ENGL 5050-092 Video Games & Culture
    • Assignments for Video Games & Culture
    • August 25th: Introduction to the Course
    • November 10th: Aggression & Addiction
    • November 3rd: Moral Panics and Health Risks
    • October 13th: Narrative, ludology, f(r)iction
    • October 20th: Serious Games
    • October 27: Risky Business?
    • October 6th: Hyperreality
    • September 1st: History of Video Games
    • September 22nd: Video Game Aesthetics
    • September 29th: (sub)Cultures and Video Games
    • September 8th: Defining Video Games and Critical Theory Introduction
      • Marxism for Video Game Analysis
      • Postmodernism for Video Game Analysis
  • ENGL 6166: Rhetorical Theory
    • April 13th: Umberto Eco & Jean Baudrillard
    • April 20th: Moving Forward on Theory
    • April 27th: Last Day of Class
    • April 6th: Lyotard’s The Postmodern Condition
      • What is Postmodernism?
    • February 10th: St. Augustine, On Christian Doctrine [Rhetoric]
      • Oratory and Argument Analysis
    • February 17th: Knoblauch on Magical and Ontological Rhetoric
    • February 24th: Rene Descartes’ Discourse on Method
    • February 3rd: Aristotle’s On Rhetoric Books 2 and 3
      • Aristotle’s On Rhetoric, Book 2
      • Aristotle’s On Rhetoric, Book 3
    • January 13th: Introduction to Class
    • January 27th: Aristotle’s On Rhetoric Book 1
    • March 16th: Friedrich Nietzsche
    • March 23rd: Mythologies and Meaning of Meaning (part 2)
    • March 30th: Derrida’s (refusal to have) Positions
    • March 9th: Mary Wollstonecraft’s A Vindication of the Rights of Women
    • Rhetorical Theory Assignments
  • LBST 2212-124, 125, 126, & 127
    • August 21st: Introduction to Class
    • August 23rd: Humanistic Approach to Science Fiction
    • August 26th: Robots and Zombies
    • August 28th: Futurism, an Introduction
    • August 30th: R. A. Lafferty “Slow Tuesday Night” (1965)
    • December 2nd: Technological Augmentation
    • December 4th: Posthumanism
    • November 11th: Salt Fish Girl (Week 2)
    • November 13th: Salt Fish Girl (Week 2 con’t)
    • November 18th: The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Part 1)
      • More Questions than Answers
    • November 1st: Games Reality Plays (part II)
    • November 20th: The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Part 2)
    • November 6th: Salt Fish Girl (Week 1)
    • October 14th: More Autonomous Fun
    • October 16th: Autonomous Conclusion
    • October 21st: Sci Fi in the Domestic Sphere
    • October 23rd: Social Aphasia
    • October 25th: Dust in the Wind
    • October 28th: Gender Liminality and Roles
    • October 2nd: Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein
    • October 30th: Games Reality Plays (part I)
    • October 9th: Approaching Autonomous
      • Analyzing Prose in Autonomous
    • September 11th: The Time Machine
    • September 16th: The Alien Other
    • September 18th: Post-apocalyptic Worlds
    • September 20th: Dystopian Visions
    • September 23rd: World’s Beyond
    • September 25th: Gender Studies and Science Fiction
    • September 30th: Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein
    • September 4th: Science Fiction and Social Breakdown
      • More on Ellison
      • More on Forster
    • September 9th: The Time Machine
  • LBST 2213/HTAS 2100: Science, Technology, and Society
    • December 10th: Violence in Video Games
    • December 15th: Video Games and Violence, a more nuanced view
    • December 1st: COVID-19 facial covering rhetoric
    • December 3rd: COVID-19 Transmission and Pandemics
    • December 8th: 500-word Essay
    • November 10th: Planet of the Apes. (1964) Ch. 27-end
    • November 12th: Frankenstein (1818) Preface-Ch. 8
    • November 17th: Frankenstein (1818) Ch. 9-Ch. 16
    • November 19th: Frankenstein (1818) Ch. 17-Ch. 24
    • November 3rd: Planet of the Apes. (1964) Ch. 1-17
    • November 5th: Planet of the Apes (1964) Ch. 18-26
    • October 13th: Collins & Pinch’s The Golem at Large (Technology), Ch. 5 and 6
    • October 15th: Collins & Pinch’s The Golem at Large (Technology), Ch. 7 and Conclusion
    • October 1st: The Golem at Large Introduction & Ch. 1
    • October 22nd: The Time Machine
    • October 29th: H.G. Wells and Adaptations
    • October 6th: Collins & Pinch’s The Golem at Large (Technology) Ch. 2
    • October 8th: Collins & Pinch’s The Golem at Large (Technology), Ch. 3 & 4
    • September 10th: Science and Technology, a Humanistic Approach
    • September 15th: Collins & Pinch’s The Golem (Science), Ch. 2
    • September 17th: Collins & Pinch’s The Golem (Science), Ch. 3 and 4
    • September 22nd: Collins & Pinch Ch. 5 & 6
    • September 24th: Collins & Pinch Ch. 7 & Conclusion
    • September 29th: Test 1
    • September 8th: Introduction to Class
  • New Media: Gender, Culture, Technology (Spring 2021)
    • February 16: Misunderstanding the Internet
    • February 23rd: Our Public Sphere and the Media
    • February 2nd: Introduction to Cultural Studies
    • January 26th: Introduction to New Media
  • Science Fiction in American Culture (Summer I–2020)
    • Assignments for Science Fiction in American Culture
    • Cultural Studies and Science Fiction Films
    • June 10th: Interstellar and Exploration themes
    • June 11th: Bicentennial Man
    • June 15th: I’m Only Human…Or am I?
    • June 16th: Wall-E and Environment
    • June 17th: Wall-E (2008) and Technology
    • June 18th: Interactivity in Video Games
    • June 1st: Firefly (2002) and Myth
    • June 2nd: “Johnny Mnemonic”
    • June 3rd: “New Rose Hotel”
    • June 4th: “Burning Chrome”
    • June 8th: Conformity and Monotony
    • June 9th: Cultural Constructions of Beauty
    • May 18th: Introduction to Class
    • May 19th: American Culture, an Introduction
    • May 20th: The Matrix
    • May 21st: Gender and Science Fiction
    • May 25th: Goals for I, Robot
    • May 26th: Isaac Asimov’s I, Robot
    • May 27th: Hackers and Slackers
    • May 30th: Inception
  • Teaching Portfolio
  • Topics for Analysis
    • American Culture, an Introduction
    • Feminism, An Introduction
    • Frankenstein Part I
    • Frankenstein Part II
    • Futurism Introduction
    • Langdon Winner Summary: The Politics of Technology
    • Marxist Theory (cultural analysis)
    • Oral Presentations
    • Our Public Sphere
    • Postmodernism Introduction
    • Protesting Confederate Place
    • Punctuation Refresher
    • QT, the Existential Robot
    • Religion of Technology Discussion
    • Rhetoric, an Introduction
      • Analyzing the Culture of Technical Writer Ads
      • Rhetoric of Technology
      • Visual Culture
      • Visual Perception
      • Visual Perception, Culture, and Rhetoric
      • Visual Rhetoric
      • Visuals for Technical Communication
      • World War I Propaganda
    • The Great I, Robot Discussion
      • I, Robot Short Essay Topics
    • The Rhetoric of Video Games: A Cultural Perspective
      • Civilization, an Analysis
    • The Sopranos
    • Why Science Fiction?
    • Zombies and Consumption Satire

Contact Me

Office: Fretwell 280F
Phone: 704.687.0613
Email: atoscano@uncc.edu
ENGL 2116-083: Introduction to Technical Communication » May 27th: More on Plain Language

May 27th: More on Plain Language

I purposely kept this page private, so you would work out the practice and “homework” sentences on your own. I’ve provided possible revisions below. If you need to, review the pages you might not have gotten to from yesterday’s page:

  • Finish Sentence Clarity
  • Prose Revision Assignment Due on Monday, 6/01
  • Practice Sentences from last night
  • Euphemisms
    • Euphemisms aren’t always bad, but, if they mislead readers, they aren’t appropriate for technical communication.
  • Set of Instructions Reminder
    • Due Wednesday, 6/03–notice how quick this is due
  • Consider starting I, Robot

Overview for Revising Prose

Refining our prose takes lots of time and won’t happen overnight. The first thing to do is to actually re-read your work. Don’t try to edit right away; instead, try to figure out what the sentence (or paragraph) is about. What is the author trying to communicate? Figure that out first and then revise.

Back to Prose Revision

If you need to review Sentence Clarity or Euphemisms, please do so. Below, I have revision possibilities for the Practice Sentences from last night. Compare your attempts with the suggestions below. Although there are many possible revisions, what should guide you is clarity and efficiency.

One question I asked about the example revision was is there a difference between “doubt” and “in disbelief”? I think there is, so look at the original and revised sentences:

  • Original: The bond markets are in disbelief of the ability of First world countries to maintain this level of debt. (19 words)
  • Revision: The bond markets doubt First world countries can maintain this debt level. (12 words)

In the above revision, the verb “doubt” means one doesn’t believe something will continue. For instance, I doubt we will find a COVID-19 vaccine before Fall 2020 classes begin. Although “in disbelief” is similar to “doubt,” in disbelief suggests someone is shocked or can’t believe what they’re seeing or hearing. For instance, I’m in disbelief that people protest stay-at-home orders. That doesn’t mean I don’t believe that happens or that I doubt they are protesting; instead, it means I’m shocked that people protest what I feel is an appropriate practice for reducing the spread of COVID-19. It’s a subtle difference, but using “doubt” or “in disbelief” can change the sentence’s meaning. The lesson here is to make sure you understand what the author is trying to communicate, and scrutinize your choices.

Last Night’s Practice Sentences

Below I have revision suggestions for the practice sentences.

  1. The financial sector of the Charlotte economy mirrors the overall health of the economy as a whole. (17 words, reduce to 6)
    • What is this sentence trying to say? Charlotte’s economy reflects the overall economy. Charlotte is a microcosm of the American economy.
    • Obviously, “overall…as a whole” makes this sentence redundant. That repetition adds nothing to the sentence but extra words.
    • Revision 1: Charlotte’s economy mirrors the overall economy. (6 words)
    • Revision 2: Charlotte’s financial sector mirrors the overall economy. (7 words)
    • The above revisions differ depending on what the original sentence meant to convey. Think of the “economy” as all the economic activity generated in a locale. The original stated “financial sector,” which for economists might really be the banking aspect of economic activity and not the entire Charlotte economy.
  2. Growth in these two segments are predicted to increase due to the surge of development in the north side of town. (21 words, reduce to 9 or 8)
    • What is this sentence trying to convey? Development in one part of town will lead to growing two segments of the economy (most likely).
    • Find the agent–“north side (or northside) development”
    • Find an action verb–“grow”
    • Revision 1: Surging northside development will grow these two segments. (8 words, 9 if you separate “north side”)
    • Revision 2: We predict the northside development surge will grow these two segments. (11 words)
    • Get the agent into the subject position. “Surging development” is the agent and it “will grow” the two segments.
  3. This divided direction caused a degree of confusion on my part as to the type and extent of response required. (20 words, reduce to 11 and 5)
    • Revision 1: This divided direction confused me. I didn’t know how to respond. (11 words; 12 if you use “did not”)
    • Revision 2: I’m confused and can’t respond. (5 words)

The third practice sentence is a classic example of going out of your way to add unnecessary words to a sentence. Basically, this person is confused and appears to be getting different interpretations about where the organization or project is going. Without context, it’s hard to know definitively, but the original sentence is a good example of what to look for when aiming for efficiency.

  • Possible agents–the speaker or “I” in this case; also, the “divided direction” is a candidate.
  • Better verbs–hidden in the nouns “confusion” and “response” are “confuse” and “respond,” respectively.

Getting an agent into the proper subject spot will solve most inefficiency problems in your sentences. Aim for active voice constructions and use more descriptive verbs to move your message along. For instance, don’t “provide a determination”–“determine”; don’t “make a utilization of” something–“use it”; and don’t “give an examination of the facts”–“examine them!”

Word Choice ‘Fun’

Is “Funner” a word?

How do we determine if something is a word or not? The reading (Tebeaux & Dragga Ch. 4) gives you some do’s and don’t’s for word choice (pp. 59- 61), but why do some words work and others don’t?

Don’t ever let theory get in the way of real world contexts and your own common sense. Click below for the scanned dictionary entries:

  • Fun
  • Funner Funnest
  • Syllabuses

Words scanned from Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary. 10th ed. Springfield, MA: Merriam-Webster, 1999. p. 472 and p. 1194, respectively.

Normally, you hear syllabi for more than one syllabus. You also hear alumni instead of alumnuses. You may also hear colloquia as a plural of colloquium. However, you don’t hear autobi for autobus or spectra as the plural of spectrum. All the above words have Latin roots, but only some seem to retain the Latin plural suffixes of -i and -a. My explanation is that alumnus, syllabus, and colloquium are all entrenched words of academia. Common words like bus and spectrum–both have Latin roots–aren’t entrenched in academia (although physicists might use spectra frequently). The lesson here is that language separates those who a learned and those who aren’t. Traditionally, college students were well versed in Latin (and often ancient Greek), so it makes sense that academic words hold onto their Latinate suffixes; after all, going to college was (and still is) a marker of education, and one’s speech and writing reflected that. Although it’s important to learn the rules of Standard American English (SAE), it’s equally important to recognize that it is an agreed-upon convention of academia. It’s a standard–not some natural true or pure version of English. Many people still use dialect and non-SAE constructions as markers of education and, therefore, worth.

For an in-depth discussion on the “proper” usage of fun, check out World Wide Words or Grammar Girl’s Discussion. Remember, when it comes to word usage, it’s not who says it, it’s who hears it. You can be perfectly correct in your writing choices, but, if the audience is set on an old-school myth about grammar (not ending a sentence with a preposition, not splitting infinitives, not beginning a sentence with and, or, but, because…). I think it’s better to understand the rules, so you can break them strategically. Enroll in ENGL 4183 “Editing with Digital Technologies” if you want a broader understanding of style (Fall 2020).

Chapters 4 and 7 Tebeaux and Dragga

These two chapters are foundational chapters–they have basic information on revision and types of documents used for communication. Obviously, we’ll refer to Ch. 4 over the next few days, but Ch. 7 is one that should be in your minds throughout the semester. We won’t go page-by-page (unless I think there wasn’t enough reading…), but we will address the concerns Ch. 7 brings up throughout the term.

Chapter 4 in Tebeaux and Dragga

As I mentioned, these chapters have basic information on revision and types of documents used for communication. Our class activities cover a good portion of the chapters, but we’re not going page by page reviewing each detail. Of course, you are suppose to read, and reading is good for your Midterm and Final Exams.

I do want us to focus on a couple of places in Ch. 4, so pull out your books and let’s illuminate the following:

  • p. 61 (3rd) p. 49 (2nd)–Style is specific to the preferences of an organization, so organizational culture will determine style
  • p. 61 (3rd) p. 49 (2nd)–Conciseness (or concision) vs. Brevity
    • Concise: “An organization’s culture guides its style preference.”
    • Brevity: “Org culture prefers specific style.”
  • p. 63 (3rd) p. 51 (2nd)–Characteristics of good and bad writing
    • Really, we should say “effective” and “ineffective writing.”
    • What’s the purpose of technical writing?
  • pp. 71-73 (3rd) pp. 59-61 (2nd)–Word choices for clear, concise prose.
    • Why are those words under “business jargon” on p. 73 (3rd) p. 61 (2nd)?
  • Obviously, we’ll refer to Ch. 4 over the next few days, but Ch. 7 is one that should be in your minds throughout the semester. We won’t go page-by-page (unless I think there wasn’t enough reading…), but we will address the concerns Ch. 7 brings up throughout the term.

Chapter 7 Tebeaux and Dragga

Even though there is overlap between Technical and Business Writing (why we often use “Professional” Writing/Communication to refer to both), we’re not trying to replicate a business writing class. Much of the content of Ch. 7 would be thoroughly examined in a business writing class, so we’re not going to spend too much class time on it. However, I want us to focus on a couple of places in Ch. 7, so pull out your books and let’s illuminate the following:

  • pp. 157-159 (3rd) pp. 134-136 (2nd)–Tone doesn’t carry well in e-mail because the reader doesn’t have voice or body language cues.
    • A brief acting lesson…
  • p. 159 (3rd) p. 136 (2nd)–Good list of questions for thinking (critically) about audience and purpose.

Preview Set of Instructions Assignment

Your Set of Instructions Assignment is due on Wednesday (6/03). Remember that a summer term has tight deadlines. Let’s discuss that by going to the Major Assignments page.

Homework and Future Work

There is nothing new for tomorrow, so please review the previous two days on prose revisions. They will be important for your Midterm (6/04) and Final (6/23) Exams. Before Monday (6/01), read Ch. 5 & 10 in Tebeaux & Dragga and preview your Set of Instructions assignment. If you’re ready, go onto June 1st’s activity page.

Your Prose Revision assignment (three paragraphs) is due on Monday (6/01) on Canvas. The previous syllabus said they were due on May 28th, but I moved the due date to June 1st. Sorry for the confusion, but Canvas has the correct date.

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