Rhetoric & Technical Communication
Rhetoric & Technical Communication
Toscano, Aaron, Ph.D., Associate Professor, Dept. of English

Resources and Daily Activities

  • Conference Presentations
    • SEACS 2021 Presentation
  • Dr. Toscano’s Homepage
  • ENGL 4182/5182: Information Design & Digital Publishing
    • August 21st: Introduction to the Course
      • Rhetorical Principles of Information Design
    • August 28th: Introduction to Information Design
      • Prejudice and Rhetoric
      • Robin Williams’s Principles of Design
    • Classmates Webpages (Fall 2017)
    • December 4th: Presentations
    • Major Assignments for ENGL 4182/5182 (Fall 2017)
    • November 13th: More on Color
      • Designing with Color
      • Important Images
    • November 20th: Extra-Textual Elements
    • November 27th: Presentation/Portfolio Workshop
    • November 6th: In Living Color
    • October 16th: Type Fever
      • Typography
    • October 23rd: More on Type
    • October 2nd: MIDTERM FUN!!!
    • October 30th: Working with Graphics
      • Beerknurd Calendar 2018
    • September 11th: Talking about Design without Using “Thingy”
      • Theory, theory, practice
    • September 18th: The Whole Document
    • September 25th: Page Design
  • ENGL 4183/5183: Editing with Digital Technologies
    • April 14th: Cohesive Rhythm
    • April 7th: Rhetorical Effects of Punctuation
    • Efficiency in Writing Reviews
    • February 17th: Verb is the Word!
    • February 24th: Coordination and Subordination
      • A Practical Editing Situation
    • February 3rd: I’m in Love with the Shape of You(r Sentences)
    • January 20th: Introduction to the Course
    • January 27th: Rhetoric, Words, and Composing
    • Major Assignments for ENGL 4183/5183 (Spring 2021)
      • Rhetoric of Fear
    • March 10th: Midterm Exam
    • March 17th: Choosing Adjectivals
    • March 24th: Choosing Nominals
    • March 31st: Stylistic Variations
    • March 3rd: Form and Function
  • ENGL 4275: Rhetoric of Technology
    • April 13th: Authorities in Science and Technology
    • April 15th: Articles on Violence in Video Games
    • April 20th: Presentations
    • April 6th: Technology in the home
    • April 8th: Writing Discussion
    • Assignments for ENGL 4275
    • February 10th: Religion of Technology Part 3 of 3
    • February 12th: Is Love a Technology?
    • February 17th: Technology and Gender
    • February 19th: Technology and Expediency
    • February 24th: Semester Review
    • February 3rd: Religion of Technology Part 1 of 3
    • February 5th: Religion of Technology Part 2 of 3
    • January 13th: Technology and Meaning, a Humanist perspective
    • January 15th: Technology and Democracy
    • January 22nd: The Politics of Technology
    • January 27th: Discussion on Writing as Thinking
    • January 29th: Technology and Postmodernism
    • January 8th: Introduction to the Course
    • March 11th: Writing and Other Fun
    • March 16th: Neuromancer (1984) Day 1 of 2
    • March 18th: Neuromancer (1984) Day 2 of 2
    • March 23rd: Inception (2010)
    • March 25th: Writing and Reflecting Discussion
    • March 30th & April 1st: Count Zero
    • March 9th: William Gibson’s Neuromancer (1984)
  • ENGL 4750-090 & ENGL 5050-092 Video Games & Culture
    • Assignments for Video Games & Culture
    • August 25th: Introduction to the Course
    • November 10th: Aggression & Addiction
    • November 3rd: Moral Panics and Health Risks
    • October 13th: Narrative, ludology, f(r)iction
    • October 20th: Serious Games
    • October 27: Risky Business?
    • October 6th: Hyperreality
    • September 1st: History of Video Games
    • September 22nd: Video Game Aesthetics
    • September 29th: (sub)Cultures and Video Games
    • September 8th: Defining Video Games and Critical Theory Introduction
      • Marxism for Video Game Analysis
      • Postmodernism for Video Game Analysis
  • ENGL 6166: Rhetorical Theory
    • April 13th: Umberto Eco & Jean Baudrillard
    • April 20th: Moving Forward on Theory
    • April 27th: Last Day of Class
    • April 6th: Lyotard’s The Postmodern Condition
      • What is Postmodernism?
    • February 10th: St. Augustine, On Christian Doctrine [Rhetoric]
      • Oratory and Argument Analysis
    • February 17th: Knoblauch on Magical and Ontological Rhetoric
    • February 24th: Rene Descartes’ Discourse on Method
    • February 3rd: Aristotle’s On Rhetoric Books 2 and 3
      • Aristotle’s On Rhetoric, Book 2
      • Aristotle’s On Rhetoric, Book 3
    • January 13th: Introduction to Class
    • January 27th: Aristotle’s On Rhetoric Book 1
    • March 16th: Friedrich Nietzsche
    • March 23rd: Mythologies and Meaning of Meaning (part 2)
    • March 30th: Derrida’s (refusal to have) Positions
    • March 9th: Mary Wollstonecraft’s A Vindication of the Rights of Women
    • Rhetorical Theory Assignments
  • LBST 2212-124, 125, 126, & 127
    • August 21st: Introduction to Class
    • August 23rd: Humanistic Approach to Science Fiction
    • August 26th: Robots and Zombies
    • August 28th: Futurism, an Introduction
    • August 30th: R. A. Lafferty “Slow Tuesday Night” (1965)
    • December 2nd: Technological Augmentation
    • December 4th: Posthumanism
    • November 11th: Salt Fish Girl (Week 2)
    • November 13th: Salt Fish Girl (Week 2 con’t)
    • November 18th: The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Part 1)
      • More Questions than Answers
    • November 1st: Games Reality Plays (part II)
    • November 20th: The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Part 2)
    • November 6th: Salt Fish Girl (Week 1)
    • October 14th: More Autonomous Fun
    • October 16th: Autonomous Conclusion
    • October 21st: Sci Fi in the Domestic Sphere
    • October 23rd: Social Aphasia
    • October 25th: Dust in the Wind
    • October 28th: Gender Liminality and Roles
    • October 2nd: Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein
    • October 30th: Games Reality Plays (part I)
    • October 9th: Approaching Autonomous
      • Analyzing Prose in Autonomous
    • September 11th: The Time Machine
    • September 16th: The Alien Other
    • September 18th: Post-apocalyptic Worlds
    • September 20th: Dystopian Visions
    • September 23rd: World’s Beyond
    • September 25th: Gender Studies and Science Fiction
    • September 30th: Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein
    • September 4th: Science Fiction and Social Breakdown
      • More on Ellison
      • More on Forster
    • September 9th: The Time Machine
  • LBST 2213/HTAS 2100: Science, Technology, and Society
    • December 10th: Violence in Video Games
    • December 15th: Video Games and Violence, a more nuanced view
    • December 1st: COVID-19 facial covering rhetoric
    • December 3rd: COVID-19 Transmission and Pandemics
    • December 8th: 500-word Essay
    • November 10th: Planet of the Apes. (1964) Ch. 27-end
    • November 12th: Frankenstein (1818) Preface-Ch. 8
    • November 17th: Frankenstein (1818) Ch. 9-Ch. 16
    • November 19th: Frankenstein (1818) Ch. 17-Ch. 24
    • November 3rd: Planet of the Apes. (1964) Ch. 1-17
    • November 5th: Planet of the Apes (1964) Ch. 18-26
    • October 13th: Collins & Pinch’s The Golem at Large (Technology), Ch. 5 and 6
    • October 15th: Collins & Pinch’s The Golem at Large (Technology), Ch. 7 and Conclusion
    • October 1st: The Golem at Large Introduction & Ch. 1
    • October 22nd: The Time Machine
    • October 29th: H.G. Wells and Adaptations
    • October 6th: Collins & Pinch’s The Golem at Large (Technology) Ch. 2
    • October 8th: Collins & Pinch’s The Golem at Large (Technology), Ch. 3 & 4
    • September 10th: Science and Technology, a Humanistic Approach
    • September 15th: Collins & Pinch’s The Golem (Science), Ch. 2
    • September 17th: Collins & Pinch’s The Golem (Science), Ch. 3 and 4
    • September 22nd: Collins & Pinch Ch. 5 & 6
    • September 24th: Collins & Pinch Ch. 7 & Conclusion
    • September 29th: Test 1
    • September 8th: Introduction to Class
  • New Media: Gender, Culture, Technology (Spring 2021)
    • April 13th: Virtually ‘Real’ Environments
    • April 6th: Capitalist Realism
    • February 16: Misunderstanding the Internet
    • February 23rd: Our Public Sphere and the Media
    • February 2nd: Introduction to Cultural Studies
    • January 26th: Introduction to New Media
    • Major Assignments for New Media (Spring 2021)
    • March 16th: Identity Politics
    • March 23rd: Social Construction of Gender and Sexuality
    • March 2nd: Foundational Thinkers in Cultural Studies
    • March 30th: Hyperreality
    • March 9th: Globalization & Postmodernism
  • Science Fiction in American Culture (Summer I–2020)
    • Assignments for Science Fiction in American Culture
    • Cultural Studies and Science Fiction Films
    • June 10th: Interstellar and Exploration themes
    • June 11th: Bicentennial Man
    • June 15th: I’m Only Human…Or am I?
    • June 16th: Wall-E and Environment
    • June 17th: Wall-E (2008) and Technology
    • June 18th: Interactivity in Video Games
    • June 1st: Firefly (2002) and Myth
    • June 2nd: “Johnny Mnemonic”
    • June 3rd: “New Rose Hotel”
    • June 4th: “Burning Chrome”
    • June 8th: Conformity and Monotony
    • June 9th: Cultural Constructions of Beauty
    • May 18th: Introduction to Class
    • May 19th: American Culture, an Introduction
    • May 20th: The Matrix
    • May 21st: Gender and Science Fiction
    • May 25th: Goals for I, Robot
    • May 26th: Isaac Asimov’s I, Robot
    • May 27th: Hackers and Slackers
    • May 30th: Inception
  • Teaching Portfolio
  • Topics for Analysis
    • American Culture, an Introduction
    • Feminism, An Introduction
    • Fordism/Taylorism
    • Frankenstein Part I
    • Frankenstein Part II
    • Futurism Introduction
    • Langdon Winner Summary: The Politics of Technology
    • Marxist Theory (cultural analysis)
    • Oral Presentations
    • Our Public Sphere
    • Postmodernism Introduction
    • Protesting Confederate Place
    • Punctuation Refresher
    • QT, the Existential Robot
    • Religion of Technology Discussion
    • Rhetoric, an Introduction
      • Analyzing the Culture of Technical Writer Ads
      • Rhetoric of Technology
      • Visual Culture
      • Visual Perception
      • Visual Perception, Culture, and Rhetoric
      • Visual Rhetoric
      • Visuals for Technical Communication
      • World War I Propaganda
    • The Great I, Robot Discussion
      • I, Robot Short Essay Topics
    • The Rhetoric of Video Games: A Cultural Perspective
      • Civilization, an Analysis
    • The Sopranos
    • Why Science Fiction?
    • Zombies and Consumption Satire

Contact Me

Office: Fretwell 280F
Phone: 704.687.0613
Email: atoscano@uncc.edu
ENGL 4183/5183: Editing with Digital Technologies » February 24th: Coordination and Subordination

February 24th: Coordination and Subordination

Remember, you have two assignments due this week:

  • HOMEWORK #2 (2/24)
  • Quiz #1 (2/26)

Plan for the Lesson

  • HOMEWORK #2 is due by Wednesday, 2/24, at 11:00 pm on Canvas
  • Quiz #1 is due by Friday, 2/26, at 11:00pm on Canvas
    • Once you start, you have 1 hour to finish.
    • Ch. 4 in Kolln and Gray is very important
  • Next Week: HOMEWORK #3 is due, so keep up with the syllabus
  • Chapter 4: Coordination and Subordination
  • A Practical Editing Situation
  • Chapters 6 and 7 in Barrett

Although I won’t cover that Barrett in these notes, please read those chapters. They might be refresher, but refreshers are good.

A Note on Coordination

Although we’re focusing on individual sentences or pairs, you know that most writing has more context. As the editor or writer, you must make effective choices to combine sentences for your topics. Often you will have to describe a situation or argue for a position, and both purposes require supporting prose. Consider the following “paragraph”:

I went to Virginia Tech. I majored in Economics and English. I did well in English. I did poorly in Economics. Economics was in the Business College. I went to Towson University. My Master’s is in Professional Writing. I had a class on rhetorical grammar. “Rhetorical Grammar” was an excellent class. That class provided a great foundation for analysis. I analyze the rhetoric of prose. Rhetoric is a topic I enjoy. I went to the University of Louisville. I did my PhD in Rhetoric/Composition there. My dissertation was on Guglielmo Marconi’s wireless. I revised that dissertation. I also expanded the dissertation. That revision and expansion became my first book.

109 words

Ok. That is difficult to write without coordination (and subordination), so I know it’s just awful to read such prose. For now, consider the grammatical choices. Unless I missed something (always embarrassing for an English professor…), every sentence is grammatically correct. However, the choice to have all simple sentences has a negative rhetorical effect—it reads very pedestrian. Everything in the paragraph is true and tells that I was an English major, have a Master’s in Professional Writing, and got a PhD in Rhetoric/Composition. But the paragraph doesn’t show that. Such a choices convey a poor ethos. At the end of this page, I have a more effective revision, one that conveys an ethos of a rhetorician and professional writer.

The Serial Comma (aka The Oxford Comma)

I’m going to end this debate right now. Use the serial comma! If your organization’s style guide doesn’t use that comma, change jobs. This isn’t a matter of grammar; it’s a matter of style. Both using and not using the serial comma are grammatically correct. However, the serial comma is very useful for advanced writers. After you learn more about style, you’ll insist on using the serial comma because you know better.

One reason people think the serial comma (the comma after and OR or) doesn’t get used is because most newspaper style guides follow Associate Press style, which omits the serial comma. Think about it. Newspapers need to fit text in columns, and printed pages only have some much real estate. It makes sense to omit superfluous commas in order to conserve space. Is that as necessary as news moves online? Nope. Instead of considering this a rule, think about it as a way to limit confusion for advanced writing.

For instance, consider the confusion that could ensue with the following:

  • My uncle left me all his property, houses and cars.
    • Do houses and cars make up all his property, or does property mean a collection of smaller items such as coins, CDs, clothes, etc.?
    • Could property just mean land? Maybe context makes this clear, but your goal is to make sure the message in writing is clear.
  • My uncle left me all his property, houses, and cars.
    • In this sentence, it’s obvious—100% clear—that the uncle bequeathed three separate components of his estate to the lucky niece or nephew:
      *property
      *houses
      *cars
    • Below, you’ll learn why the order of the series might want to be arranged to cars, houses, and property.

p. 50: Thinking about ordering items in a series

  • With his bright sunflowers, searing wheat fields, and blazing yellow skies, Vincent van Gogh was fanatic about light.

Phrases in the series:

  • bright sunflowers (5 syllables)
  • searing wheat fields (4 syllables)
  • blazing yellow skies (5 syllables)

Kolln & Gray point out that arranging items in a series in “order of increasing scope” or level or degree creates climax in a clause. Notice the following adjectives in the above sentence:

  • bright
  • searing
  • blazing

The heat or intensity rises with this ordering. If you recall Buffalo Wild Wings’s sauce heat scale, this will make sense. They order their sauces from mild to (to %&#% hot):

  • Hot
  • Wild
  • Blazin’ (full list)

Obviously, if your series contains steps—for instance, in procedures—you’d order them logically in the series. Alphabetizing could also be an appropriate ordering logic for series. Normally, an appropriate convention to follow is to order the series by the number of syllables per item in ascending order. For instance,

  • Guglielmo Marconi excited the imaginations of artists, journalists, and entrepreneurs.
    • artists (2 syllables)
    • journalists (3 syllables)
    • entrepreneurs (4 syllables)

On p. 51, Kolln & Gray reference a passage from Barack Obama’s 2009 Inaugural Address to highlight the effectiveness of having series come with three items:

  • spend wisely* (3 syllables)
  • reform bad habits (5 syllables)
  • do our business in the light of day (10 syllables)

Notice that the syllable count increases throughout the series, and the last phrase is double the number of syllables as the previous phrase.

*What happened to “to”? “To” in this sentence marks the use of the infinitive of a verb—it isn’t a preposition…it’s a particle. In Obama’s passage, “to” belongs to each verb in the series, but for concision, Obama doesn’t repeat it. Re-read the passage below:

  • to spend wisely, [to] reform bad habits, and [to] do our business in the light of day

Prepositions are often not repeated when each phrase logically begins with the preposition introducing the series:

  • Cultivating a concise, efficient prose style is good for school, [for] work, and [for] democracy.

Writing “for” in front of the 2nd and 3rd items of a series can be a rhetorical strategy to slow down and [to] emphasize each item in a series. Remember, these are stylistic suggestions, but you should know what rhetorical effects your choices have. The above sentence follows all three conventions for ordering a series: logical order, number of syllables, and climactic rhetorical effect. We can easily say one goes from school to work, and the concept of citizenship is of a larger scope. “School” and “Work” are both one syllable each, and “democracy” is four syllables.

Seriously, remember this: you should know what rhetorical effects your choices have. Otherwise, this class is meaningless. Editing can be learned by practicing over and over again. Re-visioning takes a higher-level commitment to critical thinking.

A Note on Dashes

You’ll notice I use dashes quite a bit. My dissertation advisor felt I used too many, so I scrutinized my use of them more. I probably use them too frequently, and, when you use a technique too much, it loses its effect overall. I recommend using dashes (—) infrequently.

I try to be consistent in using “–” or “—,” but sometimes different browsers display the em-dash differently as a single en-dash (-) or even an error. And sometimes I just forget. The great thing about teaching an Editing class is I can always claim any mistakes on the website were placed on purpose in order to give you some proofreading practice. Then, I rest easily at night.

Correlative Conjunctions

The previous discussion might have been a bit longer than needed, but I want you to understand the effects of parallel structures. You won’t always be able to have parallel structures, but you ought to try to have them. That will definitely show up on an exam…

I have a rather long discussion on a practical editing situation for the correlative conjunction not only—but also. Please go to that discussion (on using not only—but also in Video Games and American Culture) and then return.

Using Semicolons in Series

Use semicolons for a series that includes commas or other punctuation to improve clarity:

  • Dates that live in infamy in the United States are April 12, 1861; December 7, 1941; and September 11, 2001.

Consider the rhetorical effect of these versions using a colon (or not using one):

  • The following dates live in infamy in the United States: April 12, 1861; December 8, 1941; and September 11, 2001.
  • Dates that live in infamy in the United States are the following: April 12, 1861; December 8, 1941; and September 11, 2001.
  • Acts of terror against the United States happened on April 12, 1861; December 8, 1941; and September 11, 2001.

The great writer Kurt Vonnegut advised, “Do not use semicolons….All they do is show you’ve been to college” in A Man Without a Country. Besides the terrible transphobic things mentioned in the ellipses, he’s wrong. To be fair, he was specifically against using them in creative writing, but what’s wrong with going to college? Having more awareness of available writing choices—including semicolons—as opposed to blanket rules against certain usage allows for more effective writing. {By the way, what’s the subject and verb of that sentence, and is it punctuated correctly?}

Moving Along to the Exercises

Now, re-read the entire chapter. I won’t go over subject-verb agreement (Exercise #13 on p. 56), but it’s necessary to understand. Most of you seem to have that down, but it can be tricky for compound subjects. Do all the exercises in these chapters. In fact, your HOMEWORK #2 is to turn these in, so check Canvas for submission details.

p. 68: Group Discussion

Well, we don’t have any groups, but we can still consider what the topic wishes to convey. Locate the dependent clauses in each of the 6 sentences on p. 68. You should also label them adverbial, adjectival, and nominal. These are not part of your HOMEWORK #2 assignments, but you should do this one on your own.

First, I want you to notice the difference between the three types of dependent clauses discussed in this section (pp. 66-68):

  • adverbial clause
  • adjectival clause
  • nominal clause

Because those clauses have verbs or verb phrases and adverbial and nominal clauses often have subjects and verbs, we might be confused by what are the subject and verb of the sentence. Not recognizing or not clearly specifying what’s going on in the sentence is a major problem for editing. When you revise—your writing or someone else’s—make sure you know what the sentence is trying to communicate. Stringing together a series of subordinate clauses often has the effect of stretching the reader’s attention to what you actually want to get across in the very sentences you write. (Please recognize the irony of that previous sentence. Don’t model such prose.)

Below I’ve highlighted the dependent clauses and labeled the type: adverbial, adjectival, and nominal.

1. Addis Ababa, which means “new flower,” is the capital of Ethiopia.
Adjectival—it describes the subject, a proper noun


2. After Berlin was reunified, it became the capital of the Federal Republic of Germany.
Adverbial—notice it deals with time, when an action took place

3. One theory about the etymology of Tegucigalpa is that it comes from the Nahuatl word for “silver hills.”
Nominal—notice that “it comes from the Nahuatl word for ‘silver hills’” is an independent clause, a full sentence.

4. The national capital that has the highest elevation is La Paz, Bolivia.
Adjectival—it describes the noun phrase “The national capital.”

5. Some believe that Reykjavík was Iceland’s first permanent settlement.
Nominal—notice that “Reykjavík was Iceland’s first permanent settlement” is an independent clause, a full sentence.

6. Although Tokyo is usually considered a city, it is officially a metropolitan prefecture.
Adverbial—although, during, while, because often signal an adverbial clause


Paragraph Revision

I majored in Economics and English at Virginia Tech. I did well in English but did poorly in Economics, which was in the Business College. After graduating, I pursued a Master of Science in Professional Writing at Towson University, where I had an excellent class on rhetorical grammar. That class provided a great foundation for analyzing the rhetoric of prose, a topic I enjoy. To further my intellectual goals, I went to the University of Louisville for my PhD in Rhetoric/Composition and wrote my dissertation on the rhetoric of Guglielmo Marconi’s wireless. Eventually, I revised and expanded that dissertation into my first book: Marconi’s Wireless and the Rhetoric of a New Technology.

112 words

I certainly could have made other choices, but this revision flows much better and conveys a more appropriate ethos of an English professor specializing in rhetoric and professional/technical writing. Some techniques above—adverbial and infinitive phrases—are covered in the next chapters of Kolln & Gray. The important thing to do is to compare the two paragraphs: they’re nearly exactly the same length (3 words more in the revision), but the revision seems more efficient and adds more information. The book title alone—not included in the original paragraph—is 9 words.

By the way, my dissertation title was this: Positioning Guglielmo Marconi’s Wireless: A Rhetorical Analysis of an Early Monumental Twentieth-Century Technology. That’s just pretentious! I have Dr. West to thank for the much more efficient book title…we all could use another perspective for our writing choices, so, when you can, try to get someone else to look over your work.

Next Class

Continue with the reading. Remember, Barrett’s but book is supplemental and reinforces mechanics. I’d rather spend time on rhetorical usage, but, of course, your quizzes and exams will have questions from Barrett’s book. Next week, you’ll have HOMEWORK #3 due, but that won’t open up on Canvas until early next week. Of course, the Assignments Page has detail.

Remember, HOMEWORK #2 is due Wednesday, 2/24, at 11:00 pm via Canvas. Don’t forget that you also have Quiz #1 due by Friday, 2/26, at 11:00 pm. I will have answers for HOMEWORK #2 up on Canvas after Quiz #1 closes.

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